When we hear the term superheroes, Wolverine is one that comes to mind among few. While many of us wish we had his super powers, those adamantine claws and regenerative factors topped with super human strength make him a real badass superhero. But in reality if we really knew Wolverine, believe us – living with him would be pretty sucky. Here are some reasons why Wolverine would make the worst roommate ever.
1. Hair, hair, everywhere: Wolverine is known to be hairy, that implies hair strands all over the house! Maybe in the food, in the bathroom or on your bed, god knows where all. Ewww……
2. Anger Management: Having a roommate comes with a lot of quarrels over trivial issues – that’s a given. And when that time comes, be prepared to get thrashed, scratched and bashed all over by this angry mutant. Even if the argument was in your favour, be insanely careful when he’s in a foul mood lest you might end up regretting picking up a fight with the wrong team!
3. Drunken Stupor: Wolverine is known to be a drunk, and most of the time you’ll be that friend who’ll have to carry his drunken ass home! Seriously, listening to all his issues (he does have a loooooot of issues) and resolving the fights he picks up with random strangers is going to be a task. Worst case scenario? Imagine him losing his temper over his roommate without realizing you’re on his side.
4. Getting slashed: You’ll probably end up getting slashed, a lot of times. Perhaps when you have guests over, you’ll have to sleep all stuffed together on a single bed with him. And bam! You get stabbed in the stomach!
5. The aftermath: Half the time you’ll be apologising to people for the trouble he has caused, perhaps he had a fight with the neighbours, or he broke the car of a random dude just cause he was angry or he tore a train apart cause he was drunk! Realising that these people can’t really stand up against Wolvie, random thugs might end up beating you instead for revenge.
6. The lady killer: Imagine after a lot of hit and tries you finally bring a girl home and in a single glace at Wolvie she dumps you on the spot and falls for your roommate instead! Bummer, there goes your golden opportunity again!
7. The house filth: Men being men, the house will tend to get dirty with bits of trash here and there, probably a lot of cigarette butts and crushed beer cans lying on the ground. And you can’t really expect Wolverine to grab the broom and start cleaning. Or putting on gloves to do the dishes. Get to work and clean the place ya lazy bum.
8. The fans: If Wolverine did exist, half the time your house would be surrounded by fans wanting to ask questions and to get autographs and what not. Since Wolverine is a master at being lazy you might have to end up dealing with this too. Most people would be envious of you living with a superhero, only if they knew!
9. The daily bread: Being a superhero is a 24/7 job. Meaning – you’ll pretty much be doing all the earning in the house, providing the daily bread, paying the bills and fulfilling the drinking and smoking habits of that lazy mutant, all this comes under your territory. Think again, is it really worth it?
10. The wet dog smell: People usually smell really good after taking a shower. However, Wolverine would give a different experience to you if you meet him right after a shower. An experience that will leave you scarred and will only remind you of your wet dog!
Despite all these facts, we’d still gladly accept Wolverine as our roommate. After all, you don’t get an opportunity to have superhero roommate every day. Mi casa es su casa
