Tag: foodie

  • All the reasons why Pandas are the most chilled out animals on the face of the Earth!

    All the reasons why Pandas are the most chilled out animals on the face of the Earth!

    Everybody loves dogs and cats or any animal that can be a pet. Obviously some people are above that and would go to the extent of petting wild cats or even snakes, talk about their love for animals! But the animal we’re talking about is probably hard to pet and take care of. They’re one of a kind, slow, lazy, always hungry and not dangerous at all! We’re talking about Pandas, yup, that fuzzy big bear with black patches around the body who doesn’t give two shits about your existence because they’re always busy eating!

    And that’s the biggest reason everybody loves them. With that, we have a few of our own reasons on why Pandas are the most chilled out animals on the face of the Earth!

    #1 Dogs work for police, Pandas work for themselves! 

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    #2 They also know how to party better than most of you! In yo face! 


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    #3 Well, they do stupid things like us, the difference is they don’t even have to get drunk. 

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    #4 Don’t take away his ball? He has got only one left!

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    #5 Pandas are very much like humans – horny, hungry and always sleepy.

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    #6 They somehow how pull off the cute factor. Girls dig them more than men sometimes, sigh. 

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    #7 You don’t come between them and their food. Such a human thing to do, no? 

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    #8 Every foodie’s spirit animal? Because working out is not for them!

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    #9 They can be superstars of animal porn!?  

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  • These things go through everybody’s mind when the delivery man brings you more food than you ordered!

    These things go through everybody’s mind when the delivery man brings you more food than you ordered!

    It’s time they made ‘food’ synonym for ‘happiness’ in the dictionaries. Some people even cry out of happiness when they see their order coming towards them. Those people are the true foodies; nobody loves food more than these people. They find food, they eat it, and only thing that comes in between might be a glass of water. But, it’s not just about them. Food, has made more people happy than almost anything else. But like everything else in the world, food also can make you sad and it’s not even food’s fault. It’s the time you have to wait for your food to come to you. That right there is the time you know hell is real. And there’s one of these things that can restore your faith in God, that is, when you get more food than you ordered. And your head is full of thoughts like these.

    #1 “Is it my birthday today? That’s the best gift ever!”

    The order is here and it’s heavier than I thought. There’s a lot of stuff in that bag and I can’t wait to raid it! Being an expert about the places I order from, I know there were supposed to be two boxes but instead, there are three (That’s as close as I can get to winning a lottery!). And that is enough to make me grin. It’s about time for the foodie in me to be unleashed.

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    #2 “Well, bless the man who prepared my order but he better not have charged me for it!”

    Whoever that person is, people need to be more giving like you! But, even if by mistake you’ve charged me for it, forget returning the extra food, I’ll feast on it and not pay a damn dime for it. You’ve been served, hah!

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    #3 “I don’t know what that is but please taste good”

    Be it a very random dish that I’ve never even heard of or something that I love eating from time to time, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that it should taste good. Even though I can hardly keep my hands off of the lid, I dare and I open it. Let the adventure with food begin!  

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    #4 “Oh boy! That smells so good!”

    Getting ready to feast, and now I’m in the mood because the smell coming from the box has already got me high. As much as I’d love to share, I hope nobody comes around while I hog!

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    #5 “Not to sound like an ungrateful ass**le but they could’ve sent something in non-vegetarian!”

    That’d only happen if the dish they sent was vegetarian. Got no problem with vegetarian food but come on, non-vegetarian over vegetarian till the day I die! 

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    #6 “Not sure if I can finish all the food all by myself BUT challenge accepted!”

    I’d love to share, but only if you ask for it; I’m not going out of my way to ask people if they’d like to have some. Even if there is leftover and I’m full, there are no regrets!

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    #7 “Maybe, regular customers often get complimentary food? I need to stop ordering so much!”

    As much as I appreciate this gesture, this comes to me as a reminder that I better cut down on ordering food all the damn time. I might not live up to that decision but trying that won’t cost me a dime just like that free dish!

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  • 12 thoughts that go through a foodie’s mind when a friend at the table asks them for a ‘bite’!

    12 thoughts that go through a foodie’s mind when a friend at the table asks them for a ‘bite’!

    ‘Food’ is a very sensitive topic when you talk about a foodie’s life. A foodie can be anyone; your best friend, your family member, your girlfriend and even your boss. It’s extremely important to know who the foodie in your circle is, as you don’t really want to be in their bad books especially when it comes to sharing meals. 

    When they allow you to have a bite of their food with a smile, don’t believe them. You don’t know what they are actually thinking while saying it (imagine sharing something you love so much with somebody else – with a smile). They’re like that pissed off girlfriend whose favourite reply to “what’s wrong?” is “nothing”. So next time you ask a foodie for a bite, this is what they are probably thinking!

     

    #1 “Get your own damn food!”

    Tell us how hard is that? You order food and it comes to your table and nowadays people even deliver for free! So, what’s with asking for a bite? You can ask how it tastes and we’ll let you know and you can be on your way. That sounds convenient, doesn’t it? Try THAT, maybe!?

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    #2 “I hope it makes you poop in your sleep”

    Fine, we have made our peace with you being a bugger and taking away a piece of our ‘precious’ from us. But with good food comes great poop and you my friend – will never know when it comes (or so we hope). You may long for a good dump but it will be there when you lay asleep in your bed dreaming of our food while you least expect it. Next thing you know, your bed smells, man, it looks even worse now.

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    #3 “You better take a small bite”

    Our fingers are crossed and prayers are in our heads just because we’re hoping you don’t open up that monster mouth and take it all away from us. A small bite is what we were asked for, anything more than that and you’ll witness the wrath of our Lords!

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    #4 “I wish I could charge you per bite”

    Don’t mean to be a cheap ass here, but if that’s what it takes to keep people away from my food – it shall be done. Spread the word to foodies all over the world! It’s like a cure for zombies. It might just work because cheap ass people can surprise you, yep!

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    #5 “I paid for it, not you!”

    That burger cost 100 bucks and that’s like nothing! You’d spend that on cigarettes or chocolates maybe a box of chewing gums but not buy yourself a burger? ARE YOU F**KING KIDDING ME!?

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    #6 “That’s right, eat up, I ordered it for you”

    Here! *moves the plate towards the friend* don’t even save one bite, okay? It’s my favourite but I ordered it for you, of course! Chew on! (some people suck at understanding sarcasm, it’s not your fault)

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    #7 “I have to ask you to taste but please decline my offer, please?”

    Okay, I’ll be nice and ask you if you’d like a bite and you WILL refuse to try, that’s how it goes. Please play it the way I imagined it to be. Please god, please!

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    #8 “I hope you choke on that!”

    All right, take a bite; get it over with, pronto! I hope you choke on it the moment you start to enjoy it though and I’ll look at you with a straight face while you beg for some water.

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    #9 “I’m Joey and you know what? JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOOOD!”

    I have figured, this is how I’m going to introduce myself to new people I meet at the restaurant and give them a heads up by saying what Joey always said, just in case they start eyeing my food. Listen up, you sneaky little bugger, Joey DOESN’T SHARE FOOD!

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    #10 “I should order something that you’re allergic to!”

    That’s like a full proof master plan to keep you away from my territory. All you can do is eye my lasagne, maybe or smell if from a distance because that’s all you’re going to get. Order yourself some fries maybe and if there’s not enough salt, you can use your tears. HAH!

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    #11 “If I’m hungry later, I’m going to curse you, wait, that’s already happening!”  

    Well, I can of course order more food, but cursing you will give me some amount of satisfaction till my food is delivered. And hopefully you won’t be around for a “small” bite!

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    #12 “Somebody gonna get a hurt real bad!” – Russell Peters

    Remember that phrase Russell Peters’ dad used, well, this time, it’s going to be me. Believe me, it will be more than words. Take two steps back from my plate. Now!

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