Tag: thoughts

Thoughts that come to your mind when your phone is about to die and you can’t help it!

Fear has different names and with that, different kinds. But in today’s world there is one fear that has got into everyone’s head and somewhere it’s funny. The fear you feel when your phone is about to die and you can’t do jack shit about it! It’s not just with you but everyone, from you to all the people around you; world-fu**in-wide! There’s a possibility that something might just go wrong when you can’t get through anyone because, well, your phone will die any minute but what is sure, is you’re overreacting to the situation! And these thoughts exactly explain how you feel OR overreact when your phone is about to die and you can’t help it!

#1 I want to die too!

You’re just sitting, chilling, doing nothing that’s remotely important and your phone beeps with a notification that says ‘low battery’. But to us, it feels like the devil has made his presence felt! And all your fear comes running to you. And all you want to do is die because you were stupid enough to not bring your charger with you.

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#2 How will I ever get to know if there’s a zombie break out!

And then, paranoia hits you in the head with a bullet! You don’t even have enough battery to make a last call to your family and friends just to let them know that you love them. What if there’s a zombie break out and all the signals are jammed and you can’t call for help? But what if it’s not paranoia? Save yourself.

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#3 I feel like a loner already!

You know your phone is going to die anyway but to make it last longer you turn off the data, decrease the brightness, close all the running apps and whatever gives your phone a little more time to live. You sacrifice your social life so it can live a little more of its life before it has to go back in your bag. Not really sure if that sacrifice is taking you to heaven, just saying!

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#4 If anything happens to me, nobody will get to know!

Hope your mom tied that colourful dhaga on your wrist because without that and an almost dead phone, what’s going to save you in this cruel world of humans? It’s time you started carrying a pepper spray, at least. And moreover, everybody wants to die famous, not like Bruce Wayne’s parents in the Crime Alley, right?

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#5 How will I stalk that girl/guy on Instagram!?

Talk about big problems of life! It’s that hour of the day when you stalk the shit out of that one person you think you’re in love with. Wait, you’re actually in love with them? Sure. But damn your luck, because your phone is about to die. Don’t get teary eyed now, its wait the worth. It’s better to see a new post by them rather than seeing the old ones for the hundredth time!

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#6 How am I going to post stories on Snapchat about the major events in my life?

Those major events as we all know are a movie that you’ll be watching later, maybe the popcorns you’re going to hog! The latter one is actually a major one, no kidding! But you know what’d be a major event? Getting a life, try that!

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#7 What if there’s a crisis at work!?

You’d even pray to the God, that you don’t believe in, just to make sure this never takes place. When your phone is about to die and out of nowhere there’s a work crisis and your boss can’t reach you OR he was able to reach you but your phone dies in the middle of the conversation but he thinks you hung up on him. Guess who just lost their job? Wait, you do have a job, right?

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#8 I wish I had life support for my phone!

When the common sense knocks on your head and you realize that you should’ve carried your power bank but you being you, forgetting things and all that. Remember, nobody’s perfect but many people do carry their power banks. This is a lesson more important than the trigonometry lesson you were taught as a kid. True story.

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#9 It’s like the time has stopped!

Obviously, a phone so smart and the owner so… nevermind. Even if you’re wearing a watch, you can see the clock ticking but it doesn’t make the time run any faster. To kill time you don’t really need a phone but that’s all you have that connects you to everyone, entertains you and helps you in every way possible. But when your phone is about to die, what are you going to do?

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Featured image: source

February 24, 2016
7 thoughts that go through a guy’s mind when talking to a beautiful girl for the first time!

Alright, brothers from another mothers! This one thing has caught my mind and its time I got this out. We all have had these thoughts and they are completely normal to a guys’s world. Whenever we see a girl, we have a couple of thoughts in our mind that we don’t want any mind reader to know. Talking about reading minds, we are glad girls can’t do that. Some would be happy and some would be taking us men as creeps. And before women judge us, please note that we don’t mean to disrespect, these are just few compliments that we wish to keep in our mind and sometimes it’s best that way. So, here are a few thoughts that go through a guy’s head when he’s talking to a beautiful girl for the first time!

And ladies, embrace these pointers as compliments!

#1 “OH LORD! She’s damn good lookin’!”

Yep, let’s face it; be it a guy or a girl, everybody gets carried away by good looks. That’s the truth. Nobody knows how you are from the inside, so you take the chance just because the person is attractive and try to make the conversation. Now, with guys it’s almost the same but with that thought in his mind, he might just hesitate to approach you but believe me, he’s floored already. Take that coming from a guy.

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#2 “I hope she talks as good as she looks! Please God!”

Not saying that it’s the case with every guy but a guy with brains will like a girl who is at least a bit similar to him and not just a hot chick who makes him look good in front of people. That’s douchebaggery: 101. And besides, who doesn’t like to have someone who can talk well and keep up a conversation. Some people are suckers for that!

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#3 “She’s got a great butt. Stop looking at it!”

Again, ladies, that’s a guy thing. And don’t say that you have never checked out a man’s butt. That’d be a BIG, BIG butt… lie! I mean lie! That’s true isn’t it? And it’s completely fine. We are humans, and in our defence, we’re just admiring beauty. So congratulations on a great behind! And if a guy asks you, “have you been working out?” it doesn’t necessarily mean he thinks that you lost weight. Get it?

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#4 “Wait, are her friends this good looking too?”

Please note that it doesn’t always mean that we are looking for options. Well, that depends if it didn’t work out on you. We’d like to keep our options open. And you’d do that too. Which again, is a very natural thing to do? Let’s go exploring!

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#5 “You’ve been blessed by the Gods, woman! Hot legs in da house!”

What beard is to women, legs, butt and boobs are to men. Now, it’s not our fault that God gave so much to women and the rest was passed on to men. We are happy with what we have. And you ladies are still somewhere not content with what you got. Maybe that’s why the makeup came to existence. And we are happy that it did. Whatever makes you ladies happy? We appreciate you in every manner possible!

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#6 “Hope she likes Coldplay over Kajra Re!”

Everything aside, music does matter. We’re not saying every guy’s into international music, no! But there are plenty of men to whom music is a great deal. Some are happy with Honey Singh and some would just dance to his music when drunk because when you’re drunk who gives a f*ck? You just need your body moving! We fall in the latter category. And to be honest, music is one of those points where you have won the heart.

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#7 “Wait, would she even consider talking to me in the first place?”

A guy has probably dreamt of things months ahead before he has even approached the girl. I know khayali pulao tastes like heaven but then again, get your shit together. If you want all that to happen grow a pair and at least say “Hello!” And dear ladies, how about you do the same? No, don’t grow the pair, please, but if you think you like a guy somewhere, give it a shot! If nothing, you might just find a new friend in them. There’s no harm in that!

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Ladies, every guy that approaches you can’t be a creep, a few might be, but not all. You’re smart creatures, show men that you are. Cheers!

January 21, 2016
12 thoughts that go through a foodie’s mind when a friend at the table asks them for a ‘bite’!

‘Food’ is a very sensitive topic when you talk about a foodie’s life. A foodie can be anyone; your best friend, your family member, your girlfriend and even your boss. It’s extremely important to know who the foodie in your circle is, as you don’t really want to be in their bad books especially when it comes to sharing meals.

When they allow you to have a bite of their food with a smile, don’t believe them. You don’t know what they are actually thinking while saying it (imagine sharing something you love so much with somebody else – with a smile). They’re like that pissed off girlfriend whose favourite reply to “what’s wrong?” is “nothing”. So next time you ask a foodie for a bite, this is what they are probably thinking!

#1 “Get your own damn food!”

Tell us how hard is that? You order food and it comes to your table and nowadays people even deliver for free! So, what’s with asking for a bite? You can ask how it tastes and we’ll let you know and you can be on your way. That sounds convenient, doesn’t it? Try THAT, maybe!?

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#2 “I hope it makes you poop in your sleep”

Fine, we have made our peace with you being a bugger and taking away a piece of our ‘precious’ from us. But with good food comes great poop and you my friend – will never know when it comes (or so we hope). You may long for a good dump but it will be there when you lay asleep in your bed dreaming of our food while you least expect it. Next thing you know, your bed smells, man, it looks even worse now.

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#3 “You better take a small bite”

Our fingers are crossed and prayers are in our heads just because we’re hoping you don’t open up that monster mouth and take it all away from us. A small bite is what we were asked for, anything more than that and you’ll witness the wrath of our Lords!

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#4 “I wish I could charge you per bite”

Don’t mean to be a cheap ass here, but if that’s what it takes to keep people away from my food – it shall be done. Spread the word to foodies all over the world! It’s like a cure for zombies. It might just work because cheap ass people can surprise you, yep!

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#5 “I paid for it, not you!”

That burger cost 100 bucks and that’s like nothing! You’d spend that on cigarettes or chocolates maybe a box of chewing gums but not buy yourself a burger? ARE YOU F**KING KIDDING ME!?

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#6 “That’s right, eat up, I ordered it for you”

Here! *moves the plate towards the friend* don’t even save one bite, okay? It’s my favourite but I ordered it for you, of course! Chew on! (some people suck at understanding sarcasm, it’s not your fault)

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#7 “I have to ask you to taste but please decline my offer, please?”

Okay, I’ll be nice and ask you if you’d like a bite and you WILL refuse to try, that’s how it goes. Please play it the way I imagined it to be. Please god, please!

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#8 “I hope you choke on that!”

All right, take a bite; get it over with, pronto! I hope you choke on it the moment you start to enjoy it though and I’ll look at you with a straight face while you beg for some water.

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#9 “I’m Joey and you know what? JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOOOD!”

I have figured, this is how I’m going to introduce myself to new people I meet at the restaurant and give them a heads up by saying what Joey always said, just in case they start eyeing my food. Listen up, you sneaky little bugger, Joey DOESN’T SHARE FOOD!

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#10 “I should order something that you’re allergic to!”

That’s like a full proof master plan to keep you away from my territory. All you can do is eye my lasagne, maybe or smell if from a distance because that’s all you’re going to get. Order yourself some fries maybe and if there’s not enough salt, you can use your tears. HAH!

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#11 “If I’m hungry later, I’m going to curse you, wait, that’s already happening!”

Well, I can of course order more food, but cursing you will give me some amount of satisfaction till my food is delivered. And hopefully you won’t be around for a “small” bite!

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#12 “Somebody gonna get a hurt real bad!” – Russell Peters

Remember that phrase Russell Peters’ dad used, well, this time, it’s going to be me. Believe me, it will be more than words. Take two steps back from my plate. Now!

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December 8, 2015